The worst day of your life will be the day you realize that nothing can make you happy. you can move to every state in the u.s you can get married to a really great person. You can starve yourself to the weight you always wanted to be and still you just want to take some pills and not get out of bed. you cry and you puke and you lose some hair so you get a mohawk and you think tomorrow will be better but tomorrow turns out to be just as shitty. And when you are so depressed you cant even kill yourself because you'll probably be just as shitty dead as you are now, then you know. Hell is here. but my cat is cute he's meowing at me now and I wish I was him because he really doesn't give a fuck whats going on and my husband is a asleep and I wish I was him because he doesn't know whats going on and their is no one in the world that can make me happy because everyone will die someday and I need someone who is immortal and will never leave. I need someone who will hold me when im like this not get mad and drunk. I need to be dead but I can't even do that right. And you know what I'm fucking hungry why can't I just fucking eat some food. I hate me.
Devious Journal Entry
